I've never been drunk in my life.
I've been overserved a few times . . .
It takes only one drink to satisfy me.
But I don't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth drink.
As a former musician, I've been sycopated on occasion.
[syncopation, n.: irregrular movement from bar to bar.]
I drink to your health when we're together.
I drink to your health when I'm alone.
I drink to your health so often
I've damned near ruined my own.